Goodbye Kansas

Kansas is flat. Kansas is windy. We are ready to leave Kansas.
We are currently in Tribune, Kansas and 15 miles from the Colorado state line. We've just crossed into the Mountain Time Zone so we're 2 hours behind of you all on the east coast. Let us know if anything exciting happens. We're en route to Eads, CO and stopped at the Public Library to blog for the die hards.
OK, Larned smelled horrific. There was a cattle feedlot on the outskirts of town with 4000 head of cattle. The cows are sent there to be fed before being 'processed'. We were told they can gain 4 lbs a day for up to 4 months. Sounds like first semester freshman year.
We camped at the beautiful Larned City Park beside a duck pond. JP got a little friendly with one goose. He got to first base. It was funny. They made loads of noise all night. That was not funny. We swam in the city pool and I (terence) was narrowly defeated in an underwater swimming contest by the able-bodied brit. I think he was cheating.
Dinner was spaghetti. If anyone would like to fedex new york pizza or pasta to Colorado we will be picking up mail general delivery in Silver Cliff. Robin would also appreciate another couple of jars of Nutella.
I ran 8 miles in Larned. It was good. You cannot stop me.
The rides out here have been monotonous. We've been on the same road for almost a week. Without turns, hills, trees, buildings, or landmarks of any kind, the mind begins to wander. I accidentally rode off the highway on the way to Ness City. JP enjoyed this immensely. I recovered. We've devised a few games to keep ourselves busy on the road. My favorite, of Tim's design, is called Drink While You Think. Similar to the name game, where each player must think of a celebrity whose first name begins with the same latter as the last name of the previous celebrity (britney spears, sam jackson, jack kerouac, etc.), Drink while you think also incorporates military cadences. Each player must make up a rhyme including the celebrity's name. Each player must drink from his or her camelback while thinking. Longwinded explanation for a simple, fun game. Some fun examples: "There once was a man named Carey Grant, Robin'd rather be his girlfriend than his aunt." and "Hayden Christiansen sucked as Darth Vader, probably due to probes from an alien invader. A very fun game to play while in oxygen debt.
2 days ago, we celebrated the ASC's Bike-a-thon during our ride. As this was Stan's first time missing the event in 7 years, we decided to wear index cards dedicating our ride to him. Stan dug it. Some catchy slogans: "Thanks, Stan" "Je supporte M. le Stan" "superathlete for stan" "Stan's a Winner". It was our way of saying thanks for all Stan does for us.
We ate lunch Saturday in Rush Center, a minute farming town with one restaurant. That one restaurant happened to be a real tough bar/grill serving mostly large men in overalls. We stuck out a bit. We immediately started the jukebox up and played some elton John and Queen. We stuck out a little more. Robin and Tim played pool - badly. WE stuck out even more. It was an experience. The clientele stared at us and i heard some whispering. A grey-haired woman of about 60 called me a fairy. So it goes.
Ness City was sweet. We stayed in the city park and got to chill with a transam guy from Philly. JP made us late to the grocery store and it closed 10 minutes before we got there. Dinner from a gas station, again. No big deal. Robin and I went to get ice cream from a parlor that closed at 9:00. We got there at 8:40, just as the preteen manager was walking out to see the city fireworks. Bovine employees are infuriating. A local crazy man named Lee graced us with his presence. He offered "william and mary" (joe) a lawnchair which was in the bed of his truck while he watched "the game". The game was a girls little league softball game and Lee was mostly a nutjob. He called us all rich kids, which was nice, then offered Stan homemade, diabetic, four-grain oatmeal. He asked Tyler what kind of oatmeal he would like, but cut him off before he could reply saying, "it dont matter. i dont like you. you ain't getting my oatmeal." If this trip has taught us anything it's that most of America is crazy. Tyler and Robin attempted the texas twister.
Yesterday we stayed in Leoti, Kansas. I'm a master of accommodation and got us 2 free rooms in the luxurious Hi-plains motel. Dinner was overpriced mexican food served by a cheeky waitress. She accused Tim of passing gas, but we think it was just someone stepping on a duck. We relaxed, watched family guy and went to sleep. Amen.
Ok, Joe is getting a little antsy in his pantsy so I gotta go. 60 miles left today. Ouchies. My butt is sore.
-TK